Are you guilty of engaging in self-sabotaging behavior? Do you struggle with lack of motivation when faced with important tasks, or doubt your ability to achieve your goals?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it's possible that you're hindering your own happiness. Your subconscious mind may be interfering with your conscious intentions, resulting in self-defeating behavior.
The relationship between success and failure can be complex, and self-sabotage occurs when your conscious and subconscious minds are in conflict. This behavior can become a repetitive cycle, holding you back in life and leaving you feeling discouraged.
For example, you may work hard at the gym for hours, only to eat a bag of Doritos when you get home, or promise to save money but end up splurging on a new iPad.
Without consciously meaning to, you're disrupting your commitment to your goals and hindering your progress.
Why do we self-sabotage?
In The Mountain is You, author Brianna West explains that we self-sabotage when we fear the outcome of succeeding in our attempts to change. Our resistance to change can persist until the discomfort becomes too strong and we're forced to change. But this often leads to a self-destructive cycle where we change too little, too late, and then we're back at square one.
She argues that with effort and insight, we can overcome even our most destructive habits. By developing our emotional intelligence, gaining a better understanding of our bodies and brains, letting go of past experiences, and learning to embody our highest potential selves, we can surpass our limitations and reach our goals.
The mountain has long served as a metaphor for the daunting challenges we face, especially those that appear insurmountable. To conquer these obstacles, we must undertake the difficult work of addressing our past traumas, building our resilience, and transforming how we approach the climb. Ultimately, it is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.
But where do we even start trying to get out of our own way?
12 Questions to Find The Root Of Your Self Sabotage
This is a list of questions you can reflect on to get you started on the journey. It will take you less than 10 minutes to complete yet might just be the most important set of questions you ever ask yourself.
Ideally, you would take 10-15 minutes out of your time to journal this out in a quiet cafe somewhere but if you know you're going to procrastinate doing this while you find the perfect environment (another self-sabotaging behavior 😉), then do it now!
1. What do you see happening if things stay the way they are now?
2. If you don't make a change, what will your life look like 3, 6, and 12 months from now?
3. What are you missing out on by living the way you currently do?
4. How much longer are you willing to live this way?
5. Be honest. What are some of the (maybe embarrassing?) benefits you are getting out of living this way?
6. Quick! List 5 things you love about yourself.
7. Was the previous exercise difficult for you to complete? Why?
8. When you hear the awesome things that other people have achieved, do you secretly wonder whether you have what it takes to do the same?
9. When good things happen to you, what thoughts immediately go through your head? Pay particular attention to thoughts like, "Oh this won't last" or "I don't know if I deserve this."
10. When you decide on an important goal for yourself, what are the roadblocks or barriers you immediately put up for yourself? Do you ever ask yourself “What if I fail?”
11. If you knew you could not fail, where do you see yourself 12 months from now?
12. What is stopping you from trying to get there?
This is a great start to get you going on your journey to the life you've been dreaming about. Let us know how you go!
By Sabrine Elkhodr
Sabrine Elkhodr is an Australian pharmacist based in the USA. She has a Master's degree in postnatal depression and is passionate about helping moms feel their best.
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